Cheers to Twenty-Four

Wednesday, October 11


Now that all of the birthday festivities have ended, I've had some time to think about my twenty-third year of life. How I ended up where I am, and what I hope to achieve in the coming years. Have I matured? Am I a better person? What am I doing with my life?

Not quite a quarter life crisis (not just yet, anyway), more of a reflection. I thought I would take a little bit of time to write about things so that when I look back, I can remember how twenty-three felt. 

birthday


Life inevitably tossed me around. I was on what I thought was a kiddy ride but soon turned out to be one of those thrill-seeker rollercoasters where you think you'll manage okay but as soon as the ride starts you pass out.

Needless to say, I was unprepared. Unprepared but so grateful for the experience.

I started my twenty third year out without a job, a recently graduated university student with nowhere to go. That soon turned into three part time jobs before Christmas and a plan to apply to a university far away. After the Christmas holidays I left one of the part time jobs to work full time hours between the other two positions I held. Life was full of work and hoping I would get accepted to university.

Spring was exciting,  I had a phone interview to the university I applied to, and Noah and I bought our first car. The day that the car was officially ours, I also found out I had been accepted. We had just spent our savings on this vehicle and now we had to start all over again for the move (that should have been our first red flag, but nonetheless, I'm glad we went through with it). 

I was excited when we moved away that I would be able to finally cross some things off of my 30 before 30 bucket list. There was both moving out of my parents home and moving to a new place as well as continuing my education, all of which would have all been crossed off the list should we have stayed.

I also would have been miserable.  

There comes a time in life where you have to make choices that aren't easy decisions. I could have stayed in Ontario and completed the degree living in a terrible mental state, or I could move back home, reevaluate my choices (and inevitably feel like a failure for the first little while) and be mentally stable.
Ultimately my mental health was just not worth jeopardizing.

I've always been a strong advocate for looking after your mental health. It is very important to make sure you are taking really good care of it, because you will experience a lot more negative things in life if you have poor mental health.

In this particular instance, I needed to make sure that I was also being an advocate for my own mental health, and that is something that I found really difficult to come to terms with. That feeling of failure really loomed over me for a while. Luckily, that has passed and I am forever grateful for the support that I have received from those around me. I was really worried that my decision to move back home would be met with disappointment and misunderstanding. Not one of my family members showed that response. All were glad I was happy and safe, and interested to hear what my next step in life would be. I was so glad I got to spend my birthday with my family, with the ones who mean the most to me. 

October is my favourite month of the year. Yes, it harbours my birthday at the beginning, and one of my favourite holidays at the end (any other 'Halloweenies' out there?!) but there is something about the autumn season that makes my heart swell with happiness. It's this time of the year that really gets me inspired. I love all the vibrant colours (burgundy is my favourite colour), the chilly temperature (sweater weather), and the activities that happen throughout this season (pumpkin picking and carving, corn mazes, thanksgiving). I can't help but be reenergized during this time of the year, and I really think that is helping me to understand that everything happens for a reason and I am meant to be here. To be home.

As of my first week being twenty-four I have mostly been studying for the GRE (Graduate Record Examination - an entrance exam to many universities). I hope to do well on the test in a month and be able to apply to universities for the 2018-2019 school year. We shall see in the coming weeks how things will settle out. My test date and the deadlines are quite close together so I am trying to stay optimistic that I'll be properly prepared. Should things not go to plan, I am prepared to wait a year. I have learned that success isn't measured through one life decision, or one wrong choice, and I can keep trying. Life won't end with one bad test result.

Life happens. Life goes on.

Twenty three was a year of trying new things and learning that it's okay if things don't turn out the way you planned.  I hope that twenty four will treat me just as well.

So cheers twenty-three, thanks for the life lessons, and also to twenty-four. May the year be filled with new experiences, ideas, and lessons, and endless love and support.



1 comment:

  1. Happy 24th Birthday, enjoy all the Best that Life has to offer on your Birthday! xoxo

    www.cantiquejoice.com

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